I really need editing help
I really need editing help or: why the hell hasn’t Dargoth released a patch this month?!
Since the start of the year, I’ve received great translation help from a few people. However, I can’t just throw these files together and call it a patch without doing some serious editing for grammar, style, and consistency. I initially didn’t think editing would take that long, but ultimately I’ve been spending almost as much time editing as I would if I had translated it all myself in the first place. That’s obviously a huge waste of time, very discouraging personally, and something I absolutely do not enjoy doing. The revolving door of help on the project isn’t eager to do it either. I could release “MGQ Paradox: Jarringly Inconsistent English Version” right now, but no.
That’s where you come in! I know there are some English, Creative Writing, etc. students/grads reading this who can help. No Japanese or technical skills required. All you have to do is edit text in text files. Preferably you’ve played the translation patch up to the current point (or you could spend the 30 minutes that takes), the original MGQ, and maybe even played through Paradox with a machine translation, text hooker, whatever to have a gist of what’s going on. If you played the original MGQ and thought “this English isn’t so great,” well now’s your chance! These translated files need to be virtually rewritten into “story quality” English, not simply copy edited. Changing a boring, lifeless, grammatically incorrect line into a boring, lifeless, grammatically correct line isn’t that helpful. Ask yourself for each line, “does this sound like something this character would say?”
Here’s what you’re up against: http://pastebin.com/kQNvVniV
It’s the Haunted Manor Basement where you meet Chrome and very similar to the scene from MGQ.
If you’re interested, take a shot at editing that file and e-mail it to me at h.dargoth@gmail.com
Writing and editing is an art so I can’t tell you how to do it, but just from looking at that file, I can guarantee you won’t get away with changing a couple words here and there…. Also, there’s a fair amount of editing work to do and more forthcoming so this is by no means limited to a single person.
If you saw a new post and thought “YES FINALLY A PATCH!” you’re probably really unhappy right now. Sorry. I should have made this post a month ago instead of deluding myself into thinking I could do it all myself (or with present help).
UPDATE: Okay, it’s become clear that I wasn’t nearly explicit enough about the level of editing I envisioned for the Haunted Manor Basement. For reference, this is a change log of edits I made to the Enrika Village indoors map: change log
Some highlights:
– ShowMessage(“\\n<Ilias>Woah, so current monster lord already gets the deposed treatment… I can imagine her chagrin.”)
+ ShowMessage(“\\n<Ilias>They’re acting like she abdicated? I can picture her chagrin, hehe.”)– ShowMessage(“\\n<Ilias>Black Alice… so she finally started moving! She must intend to realize her ambitions using this opportunity…”)
+ ShowMessage(“\\n<Ilias>So Black Alice is finally making her move. She must intend to seize this opportunity to further her ambitions…”)– ShowMessage(“\\n<Ilias>I thought she might start moving with my surveillance on her coming loose but… she started moving really fast.”)
+ ShowMessage(“\\n<Ilias>I thought she might act with me not watching her, but all things considered, she didn’t wait long to make her move.”)
Haunted Manor Basement edit ideas:
ShowMessage(“\\n<Guard>We have no dead or injured but… after what was done to me, I can no longer be a bridgegroom…”)
ShowMessage(“\\n<Guard>We’re all alive and unharmed, but… Um… They did things to us that no woman should do to her husband…”)
ShowMessage(“\\n<Chrome>My name is Chrome, I’m a great Necromancer.”)
ShowMessage(“\\n<Chrome>I’m the grand necromancer Chrome!”)
ShowMessage(“\\n<Chrome>Ghosts appeared here on their own but… certainly, those zombies were all made by me.”)
ShowMessage(“\\n<Alice>Profaning the dead is unimpressive… I cannot overlook these kind of actions.”)ShowMessage(“\\n<Chrome>The ghosts showed up on their own, but all of the zombies are my handiwork!”)
ShowMessage(“\\n<Alice>Hmph, profaning the dead is not something to be proud of. I can’t allow this to continue.”)
UPDATE 2: I think I’m good on help now, but if you’re a good writer and are eager to help, don’t let that stop you from emailing me. Despite the previous update, I still wasn’t clear on what I’m looking for though. These translated files need to be virtually rewritten into “story quality” English, not simply copy edited. Changing a boring, lifeless, grammatically incorrect line into a boring, lifeless, grammatically correct line isn’t that helpful. Ask yourself for each line, “does this sound like something this character would say?”
Dargoth's Monster Girl Game Translations 
Any chance of getting a short video demonstrating the part of the game that contains these lines? Hard to know how they should be said without proper context/facial animations. I suspect the need to wade through moon runes/broken English to get to this point will turn off a lot of potential editors and just waste your time in general with tons of unsatisfactory results.
Perhaps that would have been helpful, but I chose that file especially since it involved a scene and characters that should be familiar from MGQ.
Can you please translate the classes fully and items so I can at least play the labyrinth? would be more interesting, than generic pervert talking and generic anime talking at least for me =D
Items are almost done I think. I keep asking the random “hi I’ll help translate” people to do the classes, which always results in me thinking they’ve been done but of course the person flaked out and never did any work.
Well I can help somewhat. If you send me like test files, I can show you what I can do. Then you can judge for yourself whether or not I’m capable. Then we go on from there.
If I am understanding the need correctly I am happy to help. Spelling and syntax while trying to keep a decent weave on the story provided so far. I know jack shit about coding so am I correct in thinking we will only be dealing with the text portion. ShowMessage(“\\nI’m the grand necromancer Chrome!”)
-Looking at that it looks like the important is to not space after >, and to end in “)
So >I’m Chrome the Grand Necromancer!”)
Something that like and submit the original with the revised version back to you. Do you want the changes highlighted in any particular way or does that create work for you removing the highlights? Specific font,font size,etc. Grammar purity hating the typical jrpg confusion shock ie !?,!!!,???!?! or Barrett swears ie God D@$#i+ spikey haired mofo.
I assume you don’t want dozens of people working on the same file so do we contact you and ask for a small slice,submit it, and if orderly ask for more?
Happy to help get the ball rolling here with the grub work so you can translate just wanted to understand it more clearly so as to not waste both our time.
From my understanding he’s looking for less of simple grammatical fix ups and more of actual character dialogue.
If the rough translation is bland and boring he wants it rewritten to sound like the character. For example.
Rough: Luka – “The guards have been attacked and are hurt. Rescue should be on the way.”
Clean: Luka – “These guards have been through so much… We need to send for help right away, but we can’t just leave Chrome alone.”
He’s looking for people who understand the characters. How Luka’s supposed to have some naive lawful good in him. The classic struggle to do everything hero. Or how Alice is meant to be a snarky dismissive brat who can quickly change to a serious tone when the situation arises to show her nobility and authority. Illias I imagine being a condescending bitch who has to put her pride aside in order to deal with her current weakness and deal with the problem at hand. She’ll often take a hard approach that she’s the absolute authority until she sees that people are actually pushing back against her with their own opinions. I imagine her going through some serious self reflection at times throughout the story while still trying to maintain that angelic pride.
Anyway, that’s how I see him wanting things to go. If I was working on the project, that’s what I would want.
Hey Cha0x, Throthgar’s here. I think you are correct, we need a guy who can “role play” while translating, not just blank google alike translation. That is why Throthgar, the true Dragonborn Hero is here to get shit done.
Editing would be an absolutely horrible idea for myself. Only because I tend to expose way too much, and have entirely broken english myself ; -;. Good luck to all involved! (including Dargoth of course)
Did you ever receive my edit dargoth you never responded to my email
I’m sure he’s probably busy with other things in addition to reading through tons of emails. Don’t take it personally.
Glad to see the project is progressing nicely and that solutions are found when problems arise. It must be rough at times, but certainly a learning experience.
Anyway, I just wanted to say : great job, Dargoth and team, keep it up!
I’m glad to see things are going well. I’m looking forward to seeing what develops in the future.
Also, I can provide an outlet for sentence structures. Just post a reply with the sentence in question and I’ll provide my advice.
Any eta on the patch?
One thing that would really help is having a couple pastebins of other scenes or even just more of the same scene. It’s difficult for somebody to write something of substance given such limited scope. Sure you can argue that you want people who understand the characters in a better way but these characters have changed in a pretty significant way since the original MGQ. Not to mention the introduction of new characters.
I’d certainly love to take a stab at things but it doesn’t seem like much will come of it given the extremely small sample to work with. Not to mention I found Chrome’s story element to be among the most boring in the original game. She herself was a fun character, but the surrounding dialogue was bland and uninteresting. The lines put forward in the pastebin just show that even more.
let me explain…
Uggh, we am was attacked by generic monsters. I can’t look at my wife and kids the same ever again! Woe is me!
Don’t worry generic gentlemen… help is on the way….
Whoah! Hi there! Were you making all that fuss around my lab? I’m Chrome, the great and powerful Necromancer of this mansion! Those ghosts out there popped up out of the graveyard that this place was built around. Don’t worry though, those Zombies were all my doing! Aren’t they a testament to my magnificent craftsmanship?! I had so many parts to work with I just got a little carried away.
Oh no. Chrome am defiling hooman body. Dat bad.
As the current monster lord of which I’ll be reminding you many times throughout our short conversation, I have no choice but to look down on these vile acts… Eeek, a ghostie.
Wooshie wooshie, I am the goddess Illias, generic stuff about purging by fire. Burn it… BURN IT ALL!
I also gotta say the example clean ups you gave really weren’t anything more than the very things you berate others for doing. It’s more or less just a cheap replacement of the rough translations.
For example:
– ShowMessage(“\\nBlack Alice… so she finally started moving! She must intend to realize her ambitions using this opportunity…”)
+ ShowMessage(“\\nSo Black Alice is finally making her move. She must intend to seize this opportunity to further her ambitions…”)
That makes Illias sound so generic. You could say something like…
+ ShowMessage(“\\nBlack Alice? That vile old relic can’t be moving yet. I wonder if she sees some sort of opportunity here… Her trickery truly sees no limits.”)
Mine’s nothing great but like I’ve pointed out there was no context to go off of. What’s happening around Illias while this dialogue is happening? How much of her memory has returned? What are her powers expected to be like at this point? Has she gained back some of the confidence she lost when falling under the seal? There’s a lot more information that might be second nature to you as you’ve been working on these subs like a devout Illias zealot, but to us plebs who are simply trying to piece together the story we’re taking shots in the dark.
Also, I really hope that’s not all the lines to the Chrome story section. I think that would really undermine her as a character and the relationship that her and Frederika have. Not to mention the Artiste plot line that her and her sister have. Fine, it might be discussed later, but it felt like it was introduced in such a shallow way with only some side comments coming from Alice.
Anyway, rant over, I really got carried way writing all of this. I really should stop scouring the corners of the net at the early hours of the morning. Hope you put out some more rough translations soon, I’ll keep an eye out. Of course I’ll be waiting for the next patch too. It’d be really fun to clean up some of the character dialogue but it really is difficult to work with the material we’ve been given.
Cheers.
gayyyyyyyyyy
+1
Thanks for taking the time to think about all that and post.
In terms of context and scope, I was generally hoping that people have played the game already, at least up until the parts that need to be edited. The mansion is clearly past that, but it’s also a familiar scene. It was also just a “test” file that I wasn’t expecting perfection on. At any rate, all the files, including logs of all changes, are on our public repository at https://bitbucket.org/dargothtranslations/paradox/src
Ultimately this IS a translation project, not a re-imagining of the game. That’s why I called it editing to begin with, but everyone took that to mean fixing typos and clearly incorrect grammar, nothing more. Many of the lines ARE bland, and it’s not necessary or even desirable to scrap them entirely and create your own conversations between the characters. There’s a balance to be struck between the two, and I don’t exactly want to be the authority on that balance… I’m also looking for people that can do a better job than me so I can simply translate. 🙂
Dargoth, lad, check you email. Ive send ya letter with my work in editing the text you gave as an example.
Fair point. At first I interpreted your message as fixing typos and grammar just like a lot of people. I hope you don’t think my point was that every single line should be packed full of amazing character development or anything. That’s why I picked out a couple of the lines that I thought could use more character to reach that balance. The first question is always what impact does this line have on the character and those around them? The second is how have they changed because of it? If the answers to those don’t provide much development then it’s perfectly fine for them to be just general dialogue that moves the story along.
I guess I really shouldn’t be writing gibberish at 4 in the morning… T_T. I just wanted to clear that up.
I hope I haven’t missed a patch because I’m just plowing through the game with nothing but Japanese text that I don’t understand anymore. Haha.
Anyway, thank you again for going through all this work to translate the game. I, and I’m sure many others, really appreciate it. It’s really a fun game and without you I wouldn’t have played it. :D. I’m glad you’ve gotten a certain degree of help for this massive project.
You’re not supposed to change stuff because you don’t like the original. Stop.
edditing is not easy is it
Pardon my confusion, does this mean you already have your editors picked, or is the chrome editing test still ongoing?
It’s ongoing but he does already have a certain level of help coming in. There’s no cutoff for offering your help as far as I understand it.
He is still alive! That is always great news.
I am sure there will be some good people for the editing position in the community here
Did you ever get my email Dargoth I turned in my translation file the other day
This is aloe Of anathema you received mine
I ask because I never received a followup email
any estimate on the patch?
Yeah, thanks to that comment, it can be safe to say that several weeks to a few months have now been added to the date. We don’t speak of patch release times, lest we jinx it and it has to be even later than later.
Any estimate on patch? x1000^75000
There, I just asked it so many times that we have now gone a loop in time ( if time is circular, that is ), and by my count the patch should be out on November 12th, 1895….. Damn it, I diden’t go far enough!
Dargoth, Im waiting for your reply about the text reorganization. Do not underestimate the POWER of Throthgar, and his eyebrows of Anger
With all due respect, if the grammar in the edits you sent out is as bad as what’s seen in your post, I think I know why he didn’t reply. The same thing goes for the other guy that keeps on asking him if he checked his e-mail.
I understand that a post is meant to be quick and your edits might be great, but poorly-written posts related to something that has to do with your skill in writing gives off a really bad impression.
(I think he’s playing around.)
Oh!! Glad it was just a joke going over my head lol.
Actualy I did pritty nice. Never again doubt the power of Throthgar.
p.s. Dargoth, at least you can reply to others with “yes” or “no”. Otherwise, a powerful confusion might overshadow even the most powerful minds
Sincerely yours,
Throthgar, son of Bothgar, descendant of Edgar, brother in law of Inar, second cousin of Falknar, slayer of Gulgar,the Legendary Dragonborn Hero
Anyone know of any english news website that list new and upcoming game titels of this kind and/or other adult themed art?, preferably with info aswel of the game.. like IGN for normal games would be cool lol..
if not, would someone be willing to make one?
If you’re just looking for monster girl stuff, check out http://monstergirlcollection.com/
i want a patch so badly
everyone does bud
Btw, for those wondering about what stolen materials are in the bestiary (dunno if this has been answered), it’s part of the ability of the Salon BFer. She can sometimes steal materials when she normal attacks.
Harpies have an ability that lets them steal materials.
Harpies are best thieves…. so far.
If you wanna collect them all i suggest leveling a harpy.
Harpies can learn thievery related abilites such as stealing materials and food, they also learn chaotic theft which makes 4 attemps to steal from random enemies.
They are great party members for stealing stuff.
I leveled 2 harpies so i could steal material and food at the same time.
Wait, this is the first time I’ve heard of “Chaotic Theft”.
I may have to consider training myself a thief.
Forgive me for being “that guy”. But…….When is the next patch coming out? And will more of the follower dialogue/combat text be translated?
When it’s ready. When it’s ready.
I think that the line about “I can no longer be a bridegroom…” is a parody on the stereotypical line “I can no longer be a bride” uttered by girls who feel like they’ve been debased, or exposed. Does the line you proposed as an alternative keep the joke intact?
It is. The problem wasn’t because the word was “bridegroom”, it was because someone put “bridgegroom”, so Dargoth used it as an example of what not to use.
That’s what krytyk was going for in the translation. The actual Japanese line was only a partial sentence that left the rest up to your imagination, and I interpreted it a bit differently than he did.
hmm from some of the comment i read, does this translation got delayed many times because some grammar nazis bitching over small mistake in grammar?
No. Too heavy a workload for one person to handle so more editors were needed.
No, it’s delayed because raw translation without editing reads like ass. We already have a machine translation if you can’t wait any longer.
This is without a doubt the worst time to ask this and being a long time lurker of your translations….
Where (besides google) can I find the translationS of the first three MGQ games ;3;
Edit: Okay I think I know where they might be, but the archives for this site go oh so far back in time. Either way I hope to catch up with paradox as well as other translated MG games :DDD
http://pastebin.com/xAVD9SSt
Should have everything you need. I wasn’t the one who translated the original MGQ so the patches aren’t here. 🙂
Oh…. My apologize, the website layouts for rogue and yours look identical. My bad xD
Thanks and good luck with translations!
Dargoth, you are needed in the irc chat channel. so please check in there from time to time.
Yo, take as much time as you need but im just curious as to when we should expect the next patch to be released. April? Summer? Later? Any word on it would be satisfying. Thanks for everything you have done so far, i hope this project doesn’t give you much of an headache.
Sooner rather than later.
Perfect answer 😀
Don’t know if anyone already reported this weird interaction:
I accidentally surrendered, but my Luka is so buffed that he still won using counters (surrender for tactical win :P), after that the game continued normally, but i couldn’t see my party following me until i tried changing formation
Dargoth can you tell the things that has been already translated after you release the latest patch ?
He usually puts a link to a pastebin that explains what was translated and what bugs were fixed. Usually, but not always. Just gotta be patient and lucky.
I’m pretty sure he updated the progress spreadsheet so you can at least see what was translated when it was last updated. I forgot where he was but it was quite a lot of progress.
You mean this? https://bitbucket.org/dargothtranslations/paradox/src
Yeah I need to update that again to show all the battle dialogue parts. We’re at 28% right now. About 6k lines of “story” stuff left.
You made progress with the battle dialogues? Great ❤
dargoth are you just trying to finish the entire game as your next patch release
Bro, if he was planning that, then it would be Chinese New Year before it was done, even with all his help and such. Just be patient and take what he gives.
No. I’m trying to get all the edits checked in for the patch, that’s it. Probably this weekend.
*tries not to get hyped*
*Fails*
Save your hype for when Paradox is completed and entirely translated… in 2020.
If I can be of any assistance, do not hesitate to ask Dargoth. Im specialised in Russian and English, right now I’m studying Japanese, because of the Paradox game and you, my friend.
Paradox pt 1 2020, paradox pt 2 2025 paradox pt 3 2035
I’m from the future, trust me
IM SO HAPPY
Last of the Six Ancestors Saja has been anounced. http://monstergirlquest.wikia.com/wiki/Saja
It seems she is a descendant of both Lamias and Harpies.There is an unconfirmed theory that she is the the second monster lord.
i cant wait i hope the patch really comes out this weekend
I have purchased expensive lube and learned exactly how long to put it in the microwave to achieve 98.4F!!!!! I AM READY FOR THE WEEKEND
One cannot help but admire such dedication to the faps.
Hi Dargoth, I was wondering, are you also translating the pocket castle request scenes and dialogue along with the story? Or is it of a lesser priority and will be translated after the story is taken care of?
It is of lesser priority but some work on it. Vanilla is completely done, normally (otherwise, tell me what I forgot).
Oh okay, thank you for your response.
By completely, I mean the castle requests. All I have remaining are the skill words for Vanilla, then I plan to go ahead with Vampire Girl stuff as a whole (some is already done, though).
So how much is translated up to his point?
Check out the spread sheet.
https://bitbucket.org/dargothtranslations/paradox/raw/8a9909665d885bc808d8e6e27ed6bd704b46d3a4/progress.xlsx
Is the Slime Girl affection 100 and the Wolf Girls castle scenes translated?
wow theres alot of girls done but theres alot more that needs to be done you guys got your work cut out for you
If you should ever make it out to Connecticut you may post up at my house. I kind of find that funny for some weird reason. I am suprised by the news and I can not help but to think about how this might affect things. awesome work, keep it up.
Created a simple poll out of boredom to see which monster girl’s h-scenes people want to be translated the most. If you are bored just like me please take a minute of your time and vote honestly.
The poll will start in 15 min and will last 72h: http://goo.gl/qi3usU
It’s hard to see any of the names in the poll.
Helps if you highlight them
Damn, I didn’t know Riot was so popular, I thought it was just me.
Who did you all vote for?
For me it was Chrome, Nuruko and Little bug.
I voted for Devil Fighter, the new 2 tails kitsune and Mini Crab Girl. Very hard choice though, I can’t tell which ones I like the most compared to yours.
so does its getting gaster with ppls helping? or its become slower because too much input?
faster* i mean
my primitive calculations, based on the percentage of completion and the time it took to achieve it, suggest that the translation is going to be complete on 09 21 2019
For part 1 or the whole trilogy?
http://monstergirlisland.com/
An amazing looking Monster girl game that is now at demo stage. I found it courtesy of Manyeyedhydra.com
I’m not sure if I’ve plugged Monster Girl Island before, but I should. I back the project on Patreon.
I’m consistently shocked by how fast and well Redamz works. 3d models in just a few days. Then you look at stuff like Trials in Tainted Space that has a team of 3 chugging out maybe 1 text based scene every week if lucky. I know which Pat i’m sticking to.
Was Redamz really that fast? I’m happy backing teams that look like they will finish products but a bit scared of another “Hero” MGQ.
Tbh Redamz is so fast it made me realize just how bad some other pats were completely cheating me.
I like the way Patreon works. You pledge a small amount of money and then re-evaluate every month. Don’t like a creator’s progress lately? Cancel your pledge. It’s not like a kickstarter where you front all the money and cross your fingers for results at a nebulous time in the future.
That is good to know! Thank you both. Also Dargoth a second thanks for all your hard work on paradox as well as previous projects. It makes a world of difference for how I enjoy the games.
Is there any way I could get my hands on the jarringly inconsistent english version of the game? I recently got and played up to the latest patch, and I’d like to continue playing but having no idea what’s going on is kinda…eh. I’d love if someone could either point me in the right direction or give me a way to get it.
You’re obviously striving for perfection when many (dare I say most) of us just want something vaguely understandable to jack off too. Broken English is absolutely fine so long as the gist of it makes sense. Eg I recently played another game that had two translations, one said something like “I held her breasts in my hands and fondled her nipples” while the other just said “boobs!! but both were equally understandable IMO.
I fundamentaly disagree on that part: “Broken English is absolutely fine so long as the gist of it makes sense.”
If he is a perfectionnist, then it makes sense to strive for perfection. Because HE is the one doing it. I am a perfectionnist, and I would feel completely frustrated and just abandon projects if I had to do just minimalistic stuff to make it “in time” for the others. People who want to get it quick just use Google translate.
I prefer gruel on my plate today than an exquisite three course meal never.
Then ask to Google Translation. It does exactly that, immediately and for free.
In this context, Google is maggot infested rotten apples. I’m not asking for shit translations, I’m asking for the middle ground between shit translations right now and perfect translations never. We can call it, “adequate translations”, neither shit nor perfect but pretty good and delivered in a timely manner.